you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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