what if every blade of grass was a penis?
love makes seman taste better
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
