So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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