Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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