so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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