Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize