Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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