Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Randomize
