I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
