I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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