And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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