The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
as a side note pls kill me
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
