Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
