I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
