how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
