Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
