Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
How does one acquire holy water?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
