I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
