No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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