I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
