ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
