Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
