I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize