whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
