is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize