i barfeds in our rink
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize