tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
