Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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