I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
