All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Randomize
