my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
