This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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