you have to choose: penises or morals?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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