Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
