is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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