He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
