everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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