so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
