Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
Randomize