just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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