I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I need moral support for this bender
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
