Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
