...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
