I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
operation harelip BJ is a go
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
