Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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