Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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