Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Randomize
