We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Randomize
