Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
