i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
