maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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