I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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