i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize