Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Randomize
