I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
