i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
