I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
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