Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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