i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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