at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Randomize
