im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
