Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
