I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
