East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
