shes about as inviting as chlamydia
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
