just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
