My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
worst night to have a conscience
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
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