He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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