I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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